This album is one of my worst musical fears realized; Lovesick is the Yanni of alternative rock. It took me a good five listens to this album to even discern one track from another. All of them begin with a long, fuzzy guitar introduction followed by the singer wailing away as if in pain, repeating the same droning melodies over and over. To make matters worse, an expectedly generic lovesick message ("remember me", "maybe it was something in the air", "I want you right here with me") is continuously regurgitated before the song drops into a quiet chorus with a simple drumbeat. Unfortunately, it does not stop there, as they continue the repition of the chorus over and over again. Basically, expect lazy songwriting, because that's the album in a nutshell. Even the production of this album sounds weak. I think the engineer set all the controls at the same level and went out to lunch. Nothing stands out, the rhythm section is barely audible, and the singer actually sounds like he is straining (not in the good way). The band, who hail from Nashville, site 80s British rock and American post-hardcore as interests and perhaps influences, but I do not hear any of this in their music. This may appeal to those who enjoy the emotional types of "emo-esque" rock (ala Thursday), but I am not even sure that the right niche for Celebrity. Fact of the matter is there are other bands that write this kind of music and do a much, much better job. [www.iamcelebrity.com]

It would be difficult to discuss Sweden's Mando Diao without making comparisons to a certain New York, blazer/converse clad group and a certain Swedish, identical-suit wearing "the" band. So, I am not going try, because Mando Diao hold their own among both. They have the songwriting skills and lo-fi, garage-sound of The Strokes, minus the pretentiousness. As well, they portray the fun-spirited nature of The Hives, without the silliness and pompous strutting. They also have a sound that is uniquely their own. The variety is enough to keep me interested, but not too wide that it is all over the place. Also, there are two vocalists which trade off leads on the tracks, which is a personal favorite of mine - variety is a good thing. Each track on this album brings a new and exciting treat: "Motown Blood" gives off a bluesy, Motown feel (duh), "The Band", my personal favorite, is a mixture of a 60s rock sound with a charming amount of "oooooo's" and "lalalalala's"; "P.U.S.A." the obvious crowd pleaser, is a Beatles-esque ode to their dreams of hitting the big time in the "post-USA". I am not sure if Mando Diao has been released and promoted intentionally in a time when "garage-rock" is in demand, but hopefully listeners can recognize the talented songwriting and uniqueness that make Bring 'Em On one of the better rock albums released this year. [www.mando-diao.com]

It's been a whole year since the release of the debut album from Something Corporate, Leaving Through The Window. Now that the guys have reached their early twenties, they've really been out in the world and have matured (please realize I am being sarcastic). Instead of the wretched, prepubescent, piano-tainted pop-punk they churned out in 2002, North is a 12-song collection of piano-driven, pop songs. Except, instead of the piano acting as the distinctive element, this time around subtle "punk" staples - gang vocals, snare rolls, palm-muted riffs, etc. - have been strategically included in attempts to excuse the fact that this album could have easily been released by Paula Cole or Michelle Branch. The band has inevitably fallen prey to its own pun; Something Corporate has indeed become something corporate. It's no doubt partly the fault of producer Jim Wirt, who has proven he's great at taking a reasonably original sound and destroying it for radio replay value. Wirt, however, does deserve a pat on the back, because he's made his employers very proud - the vocals are unabashedly processed and auto-tuned, every instrument has been mixed to maintain that lobotomizing, mid-range dynamic, and ten of the twelve songs are a comfortable length for radio. However, I guess you can't overlook that fact the songs were actually written by the band. The blame lands solely on the shoulders of singer/pianist Andrew McMahon and guitarist Josh Partington, since they were responsible for penning the majority of the music. McMahon's whiny vocal phrasing is trite and artificial, while Partington's arrangements are predictable and equally unaffecting. As to not completely trash Something Corporate's whole effort, it's nice to see someone tried to experiement with an ebow on "She Paints Me Blue", "Me And The Moon" reveals a possible Ben Folds influence, and the single, "Space", isn't completely embarassing. Yet, all subjective and critical comments aside, this album could've been made by anyone in this day and age. Uniquity is a necessity to make a name in the music business, and Something Corporate, like many others, ain't got it. [www.somethingcorporate.com]

Record companies tend to squeeze every penny out of a band’s declining popularity through greatest hits compilations. It’s the perfect gimmick; sell a bunch of already released songs, tag on a bonus track or two that are lying around, add a few tour pictures, and turn a profit for almost no work at all. Not this time. Never one to be satisfied with prototypical rock musician behavior, this Rob Zombie collection offers odds and ends from various movie soundtracks (including House Of 1000 Corpses), two new songs, two cover songs, and heaps of Rob Zombie and White Zombie hits, nineteen tracks in all (thankfully NOT including his horrendously overproduced, ultra-digitized, train-wreck of a song from the Matrix Reloaded soundtrack). It also features a DVD with ten music videos, three never before released, and a 36-page booklet of photos and artwork. How much more could you want for the price of a CD? Zombie’s super-industrial-rock overtones and contrived lyrics set up a perfectly vacant and easily-digestible arrangement of songs that covers a wide-range of his career, the only exception being the remix albums. It’s rare to find a musician who has so much impressive material previously only available on various artist compilations; that fact and the addition of so many classy, sample/filter-heavy videos makes this far more than your average greatest hits. This is the ideal collection for those who jumped on The Matrix soundtrack bandwagon and might be interested in more of his German expressionist/cult horror film obsession, or just anyone who missed out on non-album tracks. My only complaint is that when comparing the early White Zombie songs to the newer stuff, it becomes apparent how far Zombie has strayed from his metal roots. Zombie now relies more on goofy production, bump-and-grind drums, and stale rhythms with too many repetitions. Sure, the past stuff is great, and I enjoy the entirety of this compilation, but the future looks disheartening. I hate to think this, but Zombie may have run his one-trick-pony into the ground. That’s the only negative thing I can say about the record; "I'm Your Boogieman", from the shoddy Crow 2 soundtrack, is practically worth the price itself. [www.robzombie.com]

Not unlike their homeland of Canada, The Barenaked Ladies are regarded by many listeners as fun, poppy, quirky, but not much more than something that smiles a lot and has no real substance. I too can’t protest to know that much about them nor be their hugest fan, but I do have a certain respect for what they do. They have done it their way; without regard to money or fame, and this album speaks to the heart of that existence. Largely poking fun at fame and consumerism, Everything To Everyone is trademark Barenaked Ladies. Half the album’s songs are comical in the lyrical appearance so much so that they make you wonder if they were just smoking cigarettes while recording. The other half of the album showcases the songwriting talents and melody writing the band can accomplish. Songs like “Celebrity” and “Second Best” poignantly reveal that the Ladies are very happy with their level of fame, and their success is something they don’t measure in sales or money. “Shopping” is an upbeat and sly commentary on consumerism and also stands out as a personal favorite, perfect for the Legally Blonde 3 soundtrack staring a special someone. Most people just see the weird lyrics of the songs as funny sayings and nothing more, but underneath lies a somewhat deep and personal message on the world we live in and the places we fit into. Though their humor is what they are largely known for, I tend to feel the more serious tunes to be the albums true gems. “For You” is a slowed-down ballad on sacrifice in the name of love and about opening our little boxes of secrets to those who deserve to see what’s inside. The album standout, “War On Drugs,” is musically and lyrically amazingly simple, but a perfect reflection on depression and suicide. With beautifully dark lyrics such as “the very fear that makes you want to die / is just the same as what keeps you alive”, and “they say that Jesus and mental health / are just for those who can help themselves / what good is that when you live in hell on Earth”, the song really captures the emotion of depression and stands out to show the songwriting talents of the group. An album with a bit of a split identity, Everything To Everyone captures the comical lyrics and views of the band, as well as expressing the more serious art of composing great songs. Not an album that is going to jump up and grab you, but a joy to listen to every now and then. [www.bnlmusic.com]

Ranging from the hipster, electronically pungent single “Let a Good Thing Go” to the gospel-ish “My God,” Night On My Side seems more like a second-thought tangent to what Gemma Hayes originally wanted. The first half flaunts the thick bass, obsessively intricate Dave Fridmann style of mixing, while the second half is a comparatively empty four-track-type mix. While some albums have gradual shifts in ambience and genre, this one is a straight line cutting the album into two parts, as if Gemma Hayes couldn’t decide which style she preferred; coincidentally, the track listing on the CD booklet has a single space break between tracks one through six and seven through twelve. It’s a good method of separation for the two styles of writing, but the easy-to-love opening songs daunt the later ones. The question I ask isn’t whether it was intentional or not, but why frontload an album with insanely well-produced, charmingly upbeat songs and then flip 180 degrees to a bare guitar and vocal style? “All good things must change/ and I’ll fight it if I could/ all good things must change.” Well… perhaps Gemma Hayes was pushed into this situation by a label that felt she needed a step-up in tempo and production, or perhaps she thought she could hush up the personal songs by putting them at the end, who knows. Such things are not for us to know, thought it does cast an unpleasant shadow over what could have been one of the best female pop/rock albums of this year. Dave Fridmann may have only mixed a quarter of the songs (according to the liner notes) but his influence lingers throughout most of the album (for all you fanboys and fangirls). The later songs have a more personalized, somber approach, but lack the studio-punch and rounded-equalization. Gemma Hayes plays guitar, keyboards, sings as well as co-produces her music. She has a cautious style of writing, one that gives you enough to get in the door, but not enough to know what it looks like inside. It’s an imaginative album with a beautifully designed booklet as creative and mysterious as the music, which seems to be a rarity these days. “Today I ran for miles just to see what I was made of.” She’s a very talented musician with some clever lyrics and good taste in production; Gemma Hayes has enough sweetness to hit the mainstream but will probably settle with those types of people who care about music more than just a flashy beat and a catchy chorus. And as for the mid-album curve ball, it’ll grow on you. [www.gemmahayes.com]

Richmond, Virginia's Strike Anywhere made waves in the punk scene with their 2001 debut, Change Is A Sound, and have been making headway since. Despite the respect the band accumulates with each successive outing, they've managed to not "hit it big" quite yet. Exit English could very well be the key that opens the door to packing out clubs and extensive headlining tours. Exit English has a noticeably different feel than Change Is A Sound; both are full of politics and anger, whereas the former was more musically aggressive. Exit English is definitely more accessible, yet nowhere near radio-friendly. The anthems are still there and the Thomas Barnett signature growl is as sweet as ever. And of course, the lyrics are full of clever, political wit without coming off like typical, teenage "fuck the government" sentiments and "anarchy" cries that plague other politi-punks. Occasionally more hardcore-tinged than punk, the band manages to avoid any real comparisons throughout. "Infrared" is poppier than typical Strike Anywhere and could serve as a single, if need be. "Lights Go Out" shows a more rock side of the band, where "Fifth Estate" brings the harder edge the band is known for. As stated, Exit English is a different step in the process for Strike Anywhere, and most certainly will take a few listens to fully develop. Does Exit English compare to the soon-to-be classic Change is a Sound? No, not really. But it's still a worthwhile record, it sure beats an Anti-Flag rant anyday, and you can still pump your fist to it! [www.strikeanywhere.org]

With the term "hardcore" getting thrown around everywhere these days, Down To Nothing is fine with playing it the traditional way; fast, angry, hard and straight edge. Their debut full-length, though it came out this year, sounds like it could have been released anytime in the past 15 years. The members of Down To Nothing might not have been born musical virtuosos, but they do use their skills wisely. Their old school hardcore onslaughts occasionally come coated with metallic influences. And, in keeping with hardcore standards, the recorded quality isn't incredible and their lyrical content is plainly honest. A single lyric from "Fire Escape" could summarize the entire record: "We're the hardest kids with X's by our names / Our numbers aren't as high, but we wear the name without shame." With a style similar to Carry On or In My Eyes, Down to Nothing has offered up 11 tracks of fasted-paced anger to the hardcore world. I can't say they're distinct enough in their sound for anyone save the hardcore scene to recognize them right off the bat, but Save It For The Birds will sit high amongst its peers this year. [www.thorprecords.com]

Fair or not, humans judge things on a comparative basis. Hell, almost every review on this website will make a reference or two to how a band sounds like so and so, or the guitar is derivative of what’s his name. Of course, sometimes it is the easiest and best way to describe something, but sometimes you lose something in the comparison. Example: I feed you a piece of pumpkin pie and ask you if it is good and you reply, “Well, no pumpkin pie will ever be as good as my Grandmother's, but this is really good.” What the hell does that mean? At once it makes it sound kind of bad because it is nowhere near good enough in a comparative view, but at the same time it is really good. A fair judging is lost. So, I could tell you how much Laguardia is derivative of Radiohead, and how Joshua Ostrander’s voice sounds like Thom on some tracks, or even Billy Corgan on others, but I won’t. Every other review on the internet will do that. Truth? Yes, they do sound derivative of Radiohead. Yes, that might over shadow a lot of the album. BUT, that would ignore and overshadow what is good. Welcome To The Middle is actually quite a great album if you listen to it from start to finish and ignore your urge to compare. Tracks like “Duct Tape” and “Bull Ride” strum along with a melody that flies through the headphones and into your skull, where it will stick for a good long while like peanut butter to the roof of your mouth. Laguardia builds songs quite well, from a beginning to a middle to an end, the band does a superlative job of making songs out of their music, not just putting together hits with no structure. Album highlight “Sleepover (116 Overture)” finishes off the listen quite well. Not an album critics will drool over (well critics other than me. But then again… screw them!), and not a likely commercial success, but a solidly crafted piece of work that makes me interested in where the band will go from here. Ignore the comparisons and just enjoy what is a very good album. [www.laguardiamusic.com]

South Carolina natives Stretch Arm Strong are back with their follow up to 2001's A Revolution Transmission. The posi-hardcore quintet (that would be "positive hardcore") has been around since '94, and have made quite a big name for themselves, and a lasting impression on the hardcore scene. While songs such as "We Bleed" and "Raise Your Fist" are both extremely energetic, and typical of the band, the singing on "Rising Again" just kind of kills the mood for the song. "Miles Apart" comes out of nowhere - almost as if it's Stretch Arm Strong doing pop punk?! You could say touring with Good Charlotte and New Found Glory really rubbed off on them. "Devil Shoots Devil" is pretty... well, generic. "Black Clouds" is a song I could imagine the Bouncing Souls doing... if that's possible. The rest of the disc is typical of the band - the typically uplifting lyrics, but just all too familiar sounding. The depth of earlier work doesn't manage to grace Engage. The guitar work all feels recycled, and singer Chris McLane's trademark bellowing doesn't come off as well. And just to put one last nail in the Engage coffin, the band even tops off the record with a less-than-entertaining take on NWA's "Express Yourself". Hopefully this review reveals a less-than-excited outlook on the album, so take heed and steer clear of Engage until you've heard the band's older, much better material. On the other hand, if you're a newbie to hardcore, this album could open the doors to an incredible genre and culture. As for everyone else, we're just hoping that next time Stretch Arm Strong can bring something a bit more engaging. Well ...I thought it was funny. [www.stretcharmstrong.net]

While The Real McKenzies are obviously going to draw comparisons to the more popular Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly, the Vancouver-based, kilt-wielding drunks have actually been around longer. Oot and Aboot is their second voyage through Scotland's countryside, released through Fat Wreck's imprint, Honest Don's. It's also surprising that as fun as this band is, it's very rare that I hear anyone mention them. Quite obviously, drinking is a theme that Oot and Aboot covers all too well. Vocalist Paul McKenzie even sounds like he had a few too many prior to recording, but that only adds to the feel-good vibe that the album radiates. "Droppin' Like Flies" is a tribute to punks of past days. The band puts their own style into traditional Scot songs such as "Ye Banks and Braes" and "Heather Bells". Unfortunately, the title track is the album's one weak point, save the unexpected guitar solo. "Jennifer Que" has another sweet guitar solo with a Matt Freeman (Rancid) influenced bassline. The rest of the album is more of the same - fun, hook-filled, drunken punk. If only they'd used the bagpipes more, though. Oot and Aboot is probably the best punk-rock record I've heard this year, despite never coming across any chatter or coverage from any punk news sources about the set. Sadly, The Real McKenzies, as well as other great Honest Don's bands, are often overlooked. Don't bother with the new Dropkick Murphys album, it has nothing on this. [www.honestdons.com]

Sometimes labels get associated with certain styles and genres. It is only natural really, especially in this day and age where every major record label constructs 50 smaller labels to specialize in every possible sub-genre. Consequently, it is also likely to predict an album based on its label. If you know the label's history then you can usually guess what the genre, sound and feel of a band on a label can be. So let’s look at Wind-Up records. Their flagship is Creed, and so far every album I have received from them pretty much can be summed up in four words: “They sound like Creed.” I an attempt to be unbiased, I focused and put in So Far From Real, and to my surprise they didn’t sound like the aforementioned band. Bonus points for you! But will you score high enough to pass? Um... close, but no. Cauterize sit in that punk/emo world somewhere between Blink-182 and Dashboard Confessional. They sure cry a lot about their girlfriend (or lack there of) but they do it with a punk-pop flair. On the album opener, “Something Beautiful,” they come out firing with a nice melody, a catchy beat and a smidge of energy. From there on in, it is one jumping little diddy after another. It’s a catchy album alright, but, while being different, every song is the same. “I am rocking out and jamming. I lost my girlfriend. Oh how love is ripping me apart, but alas, rock ‘n’ roll with soothe my tattered soul.” Simple, catchy, a guilty pleasure at times, but just not a great rock record. The kids might eat it up like candy on Halloween, but not unlike said holiday, you won’t want to taste this more than a day or so a year. [www.cauterize.com]

The first time I popped this album in, I thought it was just alright, being particularly jaded by the idea of another singer/songwriter album coming across my desk. Then I listened again and wondered what the hell I was smoking the first time I listened to it. Sometimes greatness isn’t apparent at first glance. I remember getting Wilco’s Summer Teeth album in the mail a few years ago. I listened and put it in the closet. Every few months or so, I would pop it back in and, again, the sub-par aura sent it packing once again. Then one day, I put it in and it clicked. It was like, for the fist time, I realized how great an album it actually was and I have loved it ever since. Lucky for me, this time it only took two or three listens to click, not years. Josh Rouse uses the odd art of complex simplicity in all ten tracks of the album and that is what makes 1972 the achievement it is. Each song sounds simple in its listening, but it is constructed with fine care and layering to make it sound that way. In the same girlish vein of “the secret to wearing make up is to make it look like you aren’t wearing any”, Josh adds music to make the song come together more seamlessly, instead of making it sound crowded. Perhaps the most refreshing turn on the album is that Josh doesn’t sit on a stool and whine. The late trend is to sing about broken hearts and lost love, about how life sucks for you and how the world revolves around you. The lost art revived here is storytelling. Josh tells stories with his songs and paints a picture of life in general, not just his life. The album spans decades of influences, from the almost Bee Gee like sounds of “Comeback (Light Therapy)” to the simple Carole King referenced and influenced “1972”. Harkening back to the days when music was a craft and not something you did to be famous, Josh manages to find a laid-back groove in songwriting that spans years of labels in its quality. Reminiscent of some Americana influence, such as Wilco, 1972 is a terrific outing from an artist more people should know. Pick it up, listen a couple times, and you won’t soon stop long enough to put it down. [www.joshrouse.com]

I want to be upfront; I do not listen to hardcore, with the exception of the obligatory Minor Threat. Thus, I struggled a while when listening to the debut from Blue Monday. At first listen, I did not enjoy it. I thought that was because I was not appreciating it, so I looked into other hardcore and did some real soul-searching through this process. Here is what I came up with: I still don't like it. I kept searching for some musical value, or emotion evoked, and the 22 minutes of this album did not make me feel anything but impatient, or even coerce me into feeling the plight of the meaning behind the lyrics. Repetition, uncharacteristic guitars, lack of a stellar beat or rhythm section and overproduction dominate this album. For such organized mayhem, it sounds too polished. Lyrics are intense, explicit, self-deprecating, and mostly targeted at someone who has betrayed the writer. However, I don’t usually buy a album just to curl up with the liner notes. Most repetitive lines do dot hammer the point home, but seem to be the standard, keep shouting in a rhythmic fashion to get the point across (see “Number One”)... but in fact sound, well, repetitive. A benefit of listening to this album would be to support the Vancouver hardcore scene, which apparently is on the brink of blowing up, or to perhaps regain a sense of mediocrity. Otherwise, it is probably just better to stick to the hardcore that influenced Blue Monday, which according to them, are DYS and Negative Approach. My foray into the hardcore genre will begin elsewhere. [www.bluexmonday.com]

Confident enough to brave the horror that is known as 80s keyboards, Francis Garcia uses some pretty dated machines to back up his indie/country vocals. Well actually, not every song has keyboards or drum machines in it, but the ones that do stand out as the most distinctive and enjoyable. With guitar, banjo, pedal steel, violin, and the occasional aforementioned keyboards, Drive Til Morning (Francis Garcia’s alias) is certainly an unusual combination of country and electronics. Lacking in production value and devoid of any kind of musical progression within each song, this album sounds like a musical journal, and with good reason. The songs were recorded periodically over the course of almost four years in multiple studios; this diary-esque frame of reference makes the record a whole lot more understandable. Keeping in mind the journalistic approach and personal implications, the lyrics don’t purport any strong messages. It’s like a lazy, Sunday afternoon notebook. It’s easy-going background music. It’s a stare at the stars and reminisce atmosphere. It is a very clandestine listening experience, and will only appeal to a fairly specified outlet of listeners. Its permeation into several selective genres limits it accessibility to the masses, though I doubt it was created with sales in mind. I’m assuming that it was made as a therapeutic/personal milestone in the life of Francis Garcia; that is how is appeals to me, as a lethargic, everyday musical journal. In this regard, it’s a decent record though it won’t appeal to everyone. [www.drivetilmorning.net]

I often find myself looking up Japanese and European track lists for bonus songs on exported American albums (Self’s Gizmodgery has a really fantastic Japanese bonus track). While I’m sure that most others don’t share this hobby, I hope that Ed Harcourt fans in England feel the same as I, because the US version of From Every Sphere contains an excellent bonus track, in addition to the already exceptional album. Ed Harcourt is a simple-hearted songwriter with enough experimentation in instruments and writing techniques to interest both listeners that enjoy solid songwriting and listeners that enjoy innovative styles; there’s just enough pop to make you smile, and enough depth to keep you interested. While considered a solo record, there is a hefty list of extra musicians that accompany his piano and guitar driven songs. Overflowing with rich instrumentation set to lively mid-tempo-percussion, From Every Sphere is one of those few albums that that can be enjoyed and fully appreciated upon the first listening. Ironically, its instantly gratifying appeal is the album's only flaw, because it draws attention to the fact that it's good music made to sound like good music. Uplifting, flippant lyrics attached to really catchy tunes create a brilliant shell for a record, however there’s something underneath that seems to be lacking. This album is Ed Harcourt’s private stage and theater, though for a good portion of the album it lacks any personal rhetoric. What I’m trying to say is that From Every Sphere is a great listen, but those listeners that demand emotional prose might shelve it faster than not. I’ve always thought that consistency is the mark of a talented musician. Each of Ed Harcourt’s songs carries its own tone and pacing, but as a whole they fit together into a single mood. It’s a very elegant album, sometimes silly and sometimes gloomy, but completely solid. If you’ve listened to the single, “Watching the Sun Come Up,” and have considered purchasing the album, I highly recommend it. It’s the type of music that you’ll find yourself singing along in your head for days and days and days. “Let the sun break through the cracks within my room / the grey sky fades to blue it might wash away this gloom.” The lyrics are often interrupted by cheeky references to isolation and death, (my favorite being a song called “Undertaker Strut,” which is about a funeral director building coffins in the rain) but for the most part remain consoling and cheerful. Ed Harcourt is the type of writer that plays an entire song just to emphasizing a single phrase, or set of lyrics; Conner Oberst, of Bright Eyes and Desaparecidos fame, has a similar way of picking out a small section of a song to accentuate the whole. “…We are joined at the hip like Siamese twins / and that’s a metaphor for the feelings that I store.” Despite not having as personal a touch as I’d desire, Ed Harcourt threw together a lusciously packed record that is bound to attract a lot of ears. He has a Badly Drawn Boy taste for layers, and sort of a Jeremy Enick style vocals that mix into a fresh, bloom with old fangled roots. And that’s a metaphor for the feelings that I store. [www.edharcourt.com]

Looking over the songs titles, I knew that this wouldn’t be a typical album. “Finding Sex Appeal in Oncoming Traffic,” “The Pardon Me End of the Knife,” “When You’ve Run Out of Words To Eat, You’ve Only Got Yourself” are a few of them. With a female vocalist who writes lyrics as bizarre as Flaming Lip’s Wayne Coyne and as non-sequitor as At The Drive In’s Cedric Bixler, coupled with a decent art-rock sound, Elad Love Affair’s A Woman Gives Birth to a Gun and It Stabs Her is an album that’s too big for its own good. Don’t get me wrong, I think this band has enormous potential, but the small room production limits the punchy, spacious style. The guitars sound muddy, the drums sound kind of boxy, and the vocals are over-compressed. While the instrumentation is precise and adequate, it still sounds like a live recording mixed to sound like a studio album. The songs are ambitious, well written, and incorporate just the right amount of diversity, however I can’t deny the apparent shortcomings. “Don’t hold yourself back / from eating through walls / don’t mean to burst your blimp / as hooves crease lips poised in smiles / saw them all clean raped with Clorox / it’s time to run away with the knives.” I’ve always felt that art-post-hardcore-ish bands benefit from sporadic, stream-of-consciousness style lyrics, because they correlate with the speed and intensity of the music. Lyrics like, “innocence is pulled from their cavities / painted and re-worn on wrongful faces / those who lay in the road / we won’t peel you up anymore” hint at symbolism and feel congruous at times, but more importantly just sound really nice incorporated into fast-tempo rock. It’s especially interesting to have a female vocalist who can pull off such off-the-wall lyrics as well as anyone else. I feel like I may be coming off on the wrong foot here, this isn’t at all a bad record. Had Elad Love Affair been given proper tools, they could have created something incredible. I’m hoping this is the case for the next record. Elad Love Affair could probably put on a hell of a show, but until they can capture that adrenaline in a studio setting, I’ll be away finding sex appeal in oncoming traffic and other albums. [www.eladloveaffair.com]

If Kudzu Wish’s Reverse Hurricane was set as a soundtrack to a film, it would be best suited for a low-budget, undercover cop/ninja, action movie that somehow bares a clever, comedic parody to American culture/government. It would require a quirky script that hints at brilliance, but as the main focal point it would feature a visual hodgepodge of goofy stunts and intentionally bad acting. Let me explain myself. Kudzu Wish is an alternative/punk band that scuffles around important issues with peculiar metaphors (“Huh-uh I don’t know / We’ve got a big fat hand / and we’re holding a big fat stick / and we don’t speak softy anymore / we’re talking really fucking loud”). The backup vocals are a shouting/punk approach that provides an underground, basement feel with commonplace lyrics that have a few really exceptional lines. The main vocals equate to the “intentionally bad acting,” because they overdramatize the dull, but satisfactory lyrics. The songs “I Am Robot,” “re: Assassins,” and “Are We Not Snow?” support the eccentric, farcical style that is the “low-budget cop/ninja genre.” Occasionally grand, and occasionally bland, Kudzu Wish possess a pretty good recipe for some interesting, silly songs parading in a disguise as serious alt-rock melodies. I realize that it isn’t the brightest idea to review an album by comparing it to a completely different medium, but I feel that in this case it was easiest to summarize all of the atypical, ostentatious qualities of this band. “We’re sliced up in slices / snipers on the rooftops / aiming for the sweet spot / they already chase the lot / where I lay in rest and rot / I’m not upset, just out of breath / from the holes in my esophagus.” Ninjas, robots, and even a song about ‘The Lord,’ Kudzu Wish certainly has a bizarre attitude towards the often angsty, serious alternative/rock genre (Papa Roach, Linkin Park). Out of the ten tracks a handful are good. Most drag on for too long, or are only appealing from a distant, out-of-mind perspective, much like a basement kung-fu movie. “The climax is a laugh in the back of the Practice Room." [www.kudzuwish.com]

Whether it’s an anti-abortion protest, a teen pregnancy press statement, or even sex education classes, America engraves upon its children the belief that sex is bad. Millions and millions of people swing around their anti-premarital sex banners and anti-contraceptive posters flaunting their “purity,” without a clue that degrading such sexual behavior is causing more harm than good. Homosexuality and inter-racial relationships are continually frowned upon. Children are taught by teachers and parents to associate sexuality with guilt, angst and shame; throughout all the media, especially television, through constant sexual imagery and shrewd advertising, they are taught that sexuality is a tool used to manipulate, categorize, and degrade. As a youngster, I found that the media and educational interpretations of sex complicated each other greatly, making sexual understanding far more confusing than it should have been. To counteract all the bible tyrants, jaded politicians, and overprotective parents, every child (post-puberty), male or female, should be given the Lords of Acid greatest hits collection to erase all the personal, social, and behavioral frustration regarding sexuality. In this media-based world in which Britney Spears and Barbie teach young girls to starve themselves into a disgustingly thin figure and Eminem and R Kelly teach young boys to justify relationship/sexual abuse, the Lords of Acid are saints (sexual idols in the eyes of those with a brain). They proclaim a love and respect for oneself, the enjoyment in the humorous side of sexuality, and a healthy, realistic interpretation of desire; unlike the previously mentioned mainstream musicians, its not about grotesque, detrimental appearances, its about fucking. Whether it’s “Rough Sex,” “Rubber Doll,” or “Do What You Wanna Do”, Lords of Acid moralize sexuality into what it should be, something natural and fun. “Our flesh is your flesh / but your tongue is mine / use it to enter my love hungry shrine.” I hope that this has been a dramatic enough introduction to warrant your attention towards this record. Greatest Tits comprises of fifteen tracks, eleven from the Lady Galore era and four from the post-remix album Deborah Ostrega era. It features everything a Lords of Acid fan would expect, aside from not including “I Must Increase My Bust” and “Spank My Booty.” If you haven’t heard of Lords of Acid, this record is a good place to begin, just keep in mind that the first track isn’t the original vocalist for the band. If you’ve heard Lords of Acid in passing and you’re interested in them, then this is your best bet, I mean, it’s a greatest hits collection, how much more can I say about it? It’s sex and drugs, and dance. Since it is everything you would expect and nothing more I’m giving it an average score. Many of the opportunities to provide a bonus DVD, an extensive booklet, or some type of biography were completely overlooked; since there isn’t anything noteworthy about the packaging, fans who have all the tracks needn’t pick this up as a collector’s item. There isn’t a drop more than what you might expect. Even disregarding any of these outside (political/social) implications that Lords of Acid may have, they’re still a great band. [www.lordsofacid.com]

Pinebender is a coarse, noise-guitar trio from Chicago. They are loud, down-tempo rock musicians that juggle between deafeningly thunderous guitar riffs and nearly silent interludes. To tell you the truth, the constantly pending threat of one of their earsplitting, crashing change-ups makes the album a little hard to listen to if you aren’t really into it. My personal preference towards this genre, are noise bands that incorporate samples and other random oddities (beyond traditional stringed instruments), artists like Alec Empire, Matmos, and Mike Patton. Pinebender is not this. Pinebender is strictly electric guitar (six string, twelve string, and baritone), drums, and vocals; with this limited consortium they regrettably fall into a ‘regular band’ genre rather than something that is exploratory. Experimental albums have a certain leeway when it comes to listenability, since it doesn’t use tried-and-true techniques to create music. The High Price of Living to Long with a Single Dream isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just very difficult. With so many bands out there that create dense compositions out of just guitar and drums, it is hard to find much interest in this album. There will certainly be people who fall in love with its explosive melodies interweaved in tranquility, however most listeners will probably want to avoid it. [www.pinebender.com]