Prior to hearing 12 Stones, there are a few vague pieces of information that should be retained:
- They call Wind Up Records home; yes, that same inoffensive radio-ready label that mothers Creed.
- 12 Stones have picked up their auditory laughingstock in support [a euphemism for kissing the ass] of Creed.
- They suck in their already weightless rock gut on the Scorpion King Soundtrack to fit smugly next to – astonishingly enough – Creed!
Now, if you turned away from this review at this instant, I would not blame you. I would blame 12 Stones. Not only do 12 Stones exude worthless, sterile and putrid angst-y neo-grunge, but they are one of the most derivative and vapid bands to circulate the market in recent years – which is quite a ignominy when you consider the magnitude of discs that would have been more worthwhile if left blank. In fact, they are the ancillary fourth echelon on the hierarchy of formerly muddled grunge that ultimately devolved into impure corporeal pop: 12 Stones are under the parental supervision of Creed, Creed stole cues from Candlebox’s repertoire who subsequently derived their alterna pop-rock from Pearl Jam’s early ‘90s grungy cloak.
However, 12 Stones don’t only adhere to the religion-obsessed maxims and disgustingly digestible platters of auditory poison that Creed emits, but they also get vacuumed into the new metal belligerence and its vacancy of creativity, credibility and artistry. The crossbreed of these two overused, extremely trite, remarkably cliched and indubitably ugly subgenres are conjoined in the most unholy [yes, despite Creed’s “I found God” inflictions] matrimony by 12 Stones. Can you think of a more revolting offspring? I certainly can’t; and if you consider yourself even a meager fan of music – regardless of your pro-choice/pro-life assertion – abortion should surely ensue upon this hybrid of horror.
Hopefully at this point a quest for new, high caliber music will be the furthest thing from your mind. However, if you are curious to hear just how horrifically derivative and murderously awful this band is, give “Broken” a listen [which happens to be their smashing lead single!], “Soulfire” [oh! more religions connotations!] or any other of the dozen tracks that clog and pollute any ear that remains with hearing.
Needless to say, I hate this album. I hate 12 Stones. I am anything but a hateful person, but this release doesn’t only disgust me beyond comprehension or nauseate my entire soul, but it truly offends me as a lover and fanatic of music. 12 Stones, quite simply, are completely flavorless, entirely derivative and 100% procured drivel. In other words, look for 12 Stones to be locking up platinum status any time now.
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www.12stones.com]
